Fixing Fixed News

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

Those whiny b*tches at MSNBC stole our idea; Controversial self-boarding arrives in Houston






So, just when you have that perfect story that will divert attention from your political party as well put some unnecessary fear into your viewers, the other network steals your idea. This is the first part in an ongoing series that will take place here at fixing fixed news. We will be discussing those stories that somehow beat Fox News to the punch.

The article informs us of the new self boarding machines installed in the George Bush Intercontinental Airport. The machines allow for a passenger to swipe their ticket at a kiosk, then board the plane.  So why is this controversial, is it because their is no one to tell me which isle is boarding? No silly, it’s because of the radical, Muslim, Islamic, extremist, terrorists out their.

The article continues to remind us that we are still numbero uno on Al-Qaida’s hit list and not to forget, Osama’s still out their. To think that we are starting to trade in security for liberty like the old America would do is completely unbearable. Where is the terror alert ticker when you need it?

We all know that its not only common practice, but completely unnecessary to not have passengers walk through metal detectors, and have frightening 40 year old virgins ransack all of our personal belongings when it comes to boarding a train. I mean really, what kind of terrorist rides a train? The only place a terrorist will attack is on a plane. This is probably because its the only mode of travel that we advertise as being challenging in regards to evading our security checks.

Even though this is a victory for liberty, let me remind you to take off your shoes, throw out that bottle of water, grab your three ounce unmarked bottle of who knows what, along with your five lighters, and smile. Smile because this is only a small and possibly temporary victory for liberty.

Original Article.

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Filed under: Those Whiny B*tches

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