Fixing Fixed News

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

40 days and 40 nights with Glenn Blesus Washington King


Praise Blesus

During the conclusion of Mr. Blesus’s Monday through Friday news/history/religious teachings, he came up with the best ever advertisement pitch, one only a true profit could create.  He actually let us in on a strict behind the scenes Blesus trick. He described how he spent all night during the last day of his American Revival Tour hoping that he had forty days until his soon to be famous exploitation of Martin Luther King “Restoring Honor” speech.  Why was he hoping that he only had forty days until the speech you ask? Well its simple really, FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS, QUICK GRAB YOUR GUN, YOUR STATUE OF BLESUS,  AND HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

Too much of your holinesses disappointment, he had two to many days, and had to delay the major  announcement of this new punch line until his Monday July 19th show. Don’t worry if you missed this amazingly original catch phrase, I’m sure you’ll be hearing it almost as much as you hear the demonic phrase  “social justice” on the noble prize worthy show.

Lastly, Glenn Blesus Washington King aired a quick segment from his final day of his tour. It showed the strong enough to cry male, bawling his eyes out. Why you ask? Well due to all chemicals Rupert Murdock poured in his eyes over the past few years to achieve the effect of crying, he is finally going blind. But don’t sob for the multimillionaire messiah, he finally can achieve one of his top five bucket list achievements, making fun of the blind and not taking heat for it.

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