Fixing Fixed News

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

While I Was Out


Over the past 5 days or so you probably have noticed that I have been MIA. Now I know this must have been devastating to my two whole readers(giving myself a little to much credit). For this I have an explanation…I was abducted by drug war crusaders, stuffed in the trunk of an 1988 Honda Accord, and was transported south of the border. Once south of the border, the drug war crusaders took several 1 gallon ziplock bags filled with questionable substances, and forced them down my throat. After shedding a few tears they slapped me with a towel in the stomach for about a half hours or so, then shoved me back into the Accord. Upon reaching the same place I was abducted, they induced vomiting, took their baggies, gave me a high five, and went on their way.

Anyway my son, Domonic, was born on Sunday August 22, 2010. He weighed a whopping 8 pounds 15 ounces, and measured a little over 20 inches long. At the hospital he seemed content with his new life, only awaking when hungry or when requiring a diaper change. Tonight, his first night home, he seems to have developed a case of the Linda Blair. Shy of a projectile stream of pea soup emerging from his mouth he has become the perfect candidate for an exorcism. Even though he has become a crying time bomb, he is amazing. He is one of the best things that have ever happened in my life. He is nothing short of perfect and his life will be celebrated daily. Updates will be given regularly.

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