Fixing Fixed News

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

Iran’s Nuke in Progress Program Might Threaten America’s 5,113 stockpile


In a recent addition to the Fox News tribute to the bombing Iran page, a report which is drastically similar to almost every other report on that page, has been published. The report highlights accusations that the evil doers in Iran are proceeding with their nuclear program even though the western created global community instructed them not to. This situation is just as bad as when Saddam and his regime had tens of billions of weapons of mass destruction in the country of Iraq.

The Iranian government has repeatedly stated that their nuclear program is being used for a peaceful energy program. This is a complete crock of *ish. We know, just like we did before we invaded Iraq, that they got WMD. The International Atomic Energy Agency stated that Iran had created 2.5 tons of low-enriched uranium that can be used for fuel.  This amount of low enriched uranium has the capability to be turned into two, thats right, count that, two, nuclear weapons. Now consider this, you have a fight between a country who has 5,113 nuclear weapons, and a country who might have 2 sometime in the future, who’s going to win. It’s quite obvious, the country with the possibility of having 2 in the future, come on people thats why it’s so scarry.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in a recent speech, warned the west to stop  “resorting to lies and hue and cry”. Well if this isn’t a blatant lie in itself. You Mr. Iranian President are the liar, and all of you evil Iranians are trying to produce nuclear weapons. This kind of rhetoric sound exactly like the lies the Iraqi dictator, Saddam Hussein, was still clinging too even after he was captured. This just proves that even when you have hardcore evidence against these people, they will lie again and again, even when faced with death.

Now why in the world would a country like Iran want to create a nuclear weapon in the first place. It’s not like some huge foreign military superpower is going around the middle east devouring little countries for resources in the name of freedom. And it’s not like they have nuclear armed neighbors, like Israel, who own anywhere from 75 to 200 nuclear weapons. Wait a minute, I think I’ve got it, don’t they hate our freedoms like those other people we are fighting.

So in conclusion, we need to stand up, invade a soverign nation that has not attacked us, and destroy their potential possibly one day nuclear stockpile. This is the only option we have to restore peace to the middle east. Without the displacement and death of hundreds of thousands of people, combined with a smoking gun, how can we successfully enforce democracy.

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Filed under: Misc.

Mission ReAccomplished


Operation Iraqi Freedom is coming to a close at the end of this month. The very next day we will begin Operation New Dawn. The new operation, intended to reign in the public support in America, as well as overseas is a sign that our mission in Iraq will one day come to an end. The wrapping up of this war comes as a huge surprise, mostly due to the the extreme speeds our government has worked to bring the troops home. All of this happens just 7 years after our previous commander and chief announced mission accomplished. The following article goes into a brief detail of a few victories we have achieved by fighting this great war in Iraq.

Out of all our accomplishments in Iraq their are only a few that go to show how much good our country has done for the people. These good things include providing only three hours of power a day, I mean come on, did they really need 24 hours like Saddam was giving them, kind of overkill if you ask me. How about the liberating of 25 million people and giving them the choice of democracy or death. And what about the prospect of leaving them without a functioning government, to fend for themselves against the uprising of brutal dictators that will inevitably rise again in the future, all this probably with the help and funding of our defense department.

The last and final victory I am going to talk about is the one I feel is the most important.  This victory consists of changing the way the world looks at America. You see, before America decided to invade Iraq, all the other countries looked at us as a symbol of that old traditional boring freedom. They all looked at us like we were that country that had enough respect for all them to not attack them unless they struck first.  But you see we did something incredible, we gave the world a taste of how great modern republican freedom is, we gave the world the Bush Doctrine of preemptive war. And for all you whiny liberals out their, you can take your damn international law and shove it.

Check out Original Article Here

Filed under: Misc.

40 days and 40 nights with Glenn Blesus Washington King


Praise Blesus

During the conclusion of Mr. Blesus’s Monday through Friday news/history/religious teachings, he came up with the best ever advertisement pitch, one only a true profit could create.  He actually let us in on a strict behind the scenes Blesus trick. He described how he spent all night during the last day of his American Revival Tour hoping that he had forty days until his soon to be famous exploitation of Martin Luther King “Restoring Honor” speech.  Why was he hoping that he only had forty days until the speech you ask? Well its simple really, FORTY DAYS AND FORTY NIGHTS, QUICK GRAB YOUR GUN, YOUR STATUE OF BLESUS,  AND HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

Too much of your holinesses disappointment, he had two to many days, and had to delay the major  announcement of this new punch line until his Monday July 19th show. Don’t worry if you missed this amazingly original catch phrase, I’m sure you’ll be hearing it almost as much as you hear the demonic phrase  “social justice” on the noble prize worthy show.

Lastly, Glenn Blesus Washington King aired a quick segment from his final day of his tour. It showed the strong enough to cry male, bawling his eyes out. Why you ask? Well due to all chemicals Rupert Murdock poured in his eyes over the past few years to achieve the effect of crying, he is finally going blind. But don’t sob for the multimillionaire messiah, he finally can achieve one of his top five bucket list achievements, making fun of the blind and not taking heat for it.

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Filed under: Misc.

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