Fixing Fixed News

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

Newt Gingrich to Muslims: GET OFF MY LAWN!!

In a recent speech, congressmen Newt Gingrich announced his deep seeded dislike for Muslims. He told us a tale of two Muslims, one being a “militant” Muslim, and the other being a “stealth” Muslim. The stealth Muslim is kind of like a devoted Christian who tries spreading the word of God and the teachings of the bible. The only difference being that  instead of spreading the word of God and teachings of the bible, they are spreading the word of Allah, and the teachings of the Koran, which we all know is downright dangerous. Gingrich continues to inform us on how these two kinds of Muslim’s, the “militant” and the “stealth”,  which are well defined in the republican Koran, are one in the same.

Gingrich then goes into depth on the evils of this religion, telling the true horror stories of the Muslim world. He stated in graphic detail of how in the Muslim world it takes four witnesses to prove that a rape actually took place. Now this isn’t that much different from Catholicism (Newtys favorite religion as displayed on his website, like any true public official would display), where you need two and a half priest as witnesses to prove a sexual assault on an alter boy had occurred.

The speech then turns from good to great when Gingrich proposes his Anti-Muslim law. In his proposed law, he sets out to ban Sharia law from overcoming traditional American law. Now I know what a few of you are thinking, We already have the first amendment to protect us from something like that. What we don’t have though is an easy way around the establishment clause. This clause of the first amendment restricts the government from establishing, promoting, or inhibiting a religion. So if Gingy and the Fox News gang can just get one of the many laws dealing with the repression of  the Muslim religion passed and upheld by the Supreme Court, Fox gets one step closer to establishing Foxistianity.

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Filed under: Religon

Fox’s Unite America Campaign: Anti-Defamation League to Muslims: Get Out!

The Anti-Defamation League, promotes the theory of equality, unless your a Muslim. A recent article was published on the Fox News website discussing the Anti-Defamation League’s view on the mosque scheduled to be built near ground zero. The Association was quoted sayig “Ultimately this is not a question of rights, but a question of what is right.”  The association, in its race to promote what’s right, claims that even though the Mosque can legally be built near ground zero, it doesn’t deserve the right to be built anywhere near it.

National director of the Anti-Defamation League, Abraham Foxman, compared  “the idea of a mosque near ground zero to the Roman Catholic Carmelite nuns who had a convent at the Auschwitz death camp”. This make sense because the Muslims and Roman Catholics are much alike,  its hard to tell the two religions apart. On top of that, we all know that New York City is just like a modern day Auschwitz death camp.  You see, statements like the one mentioned above just goes to show the great lengths this group will reach to prove that they mean every word  stated in their motto. The motto which is on the top of their webpage, reads ; ” ‘To stop the defamation of the Jewish people…to promote fair and equal treatment to all people”.

Now we all know how Fox is a proud supporter of the military industrial complex, thats why they continue to run articles like this one. You see, by running these articles that promote a transformation to the 1st amendment, they are in essence giving a big thank you to the troops trying to defend our Constitution. Yea, we all know about that pesky freedom of religion clause included in our first amendment, but whats more important, the clause, or our never ending campaign against all Muslims. If your a true Fox News Patriot, you would would have picked the second option.

The words that have emerged from the Anti-Defamation League and appeared in the Fox News article are sure to help bring the country together in a time of need. You see Fox News is an amazing tool when it comes to uniting the United States. Here at FixingFixedNews we are starting a campaign to promote the unique ways Fox is bringing the people of this nation together as well as easing racial and cultural tensions. This article we have just reviewed is a clear example of how good of a job they are doing, and for doing such a great job we want to give Fox News a big FixingFixedNews Thank You.

Original Article Here.

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Filed under: Religon

Holy Crusades: Breaking down the worthless walls separating State and Church.

The question dealing with the barrier between church and state, who needs it anyway? Other then the endless holy crusades, and mass murders of people due to a conflict of religious beliefs, their is no real reason to keep the two from joining forces once again.

The article goes on to discuss how the number of complaints by ‘liberal’ whiners have been on the rise. These complaints, which are increasingly annoying, continue to build the wall separating church and state. Little do they know, Fox News has a solution to that, Glenn Blesus, and an endless amount of airtime in which we can run the same segments on the subject over, and over again.

The article then goes on to discuss a huge problem in the small town of Augusta, Ga. Here you have these complainers, complaining about a prayer that takes place before tax funded, government meetings. The Freedom From Religion Foundation claims that these prayer are a strict violation of the constitution. On the other hand, Fox News and the city’s law department know that the Supreme Court was only joking when deciding the outcome of Engel v. Vitale.  Granted the case only applies to non-denominational, voluntary prayers in public schools,  and the outcome of that case definitely will not influence any future cases involving a public office, paid for by tax payer money.

Being a Fox News loving Constitutionalist, I’d like to take some time to discuss the true meaning of the first amendment. The freedom of religion to us avid Fox News listener means, if you are Christian or Catholic, your are free to practice it openly America. If not, be prepared to be feel extremely awkward, especially in places your tax money goes to.  Just remember, the establishment clause of the first amendment is nothing more than an illusion put their by the devil to distract us, kind of like dinosaur bones.

Original Article Here.

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Filed under: Religon

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